I thought I just found my dog dead under my bed.

After freaking the fuck out I frantically tried calling my dad, breathing fast, and trying desperately to get her attention. She was breathing, thankfully, but wouldn't respond to me touching her face and paws or calling her name.

Yesterday I found this freaking huge lump on the side of her throat and I've been struggling to get to the vet because of work and money. I had my dad call some place that's still open and gave me their number.

When I slid her out from underneath she instantly sat up and looked at me with sleepy eyes. She then wanted nothing more than to hide back down there while I kept her next to me petting her and talking to her.

Really she is just lethargic, and I believe it's not serious enough to emergency run her to the vet. That's $80 saved there. An estimated $350 for checkup, x-rays, blood work, plus any possible work needed to see if its an absist that can be taken care of or a mass that's way more difficult to deal with to determine what should happen, however.

I'm gonna have to start coming to terms that I'm not going to have my oldest dog for not much longer ;~; Probably the longest she has left to live at most is one more year.

Sorry for the downer update. This just happened so fast. And the fact I live alone makes this really hard for me now.

I'm not ready for this to happen... I haven't felt extreme sadness in a very long time.

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